
Three shows. One weekend. Livers somewhat intact.
What a weekend! First, the
band let loose at the Spruce on Friday
and drank more beer than a small army of
Irish Wolfhounds.
Then onto Woofstock, where the band rocked n' rolled in some crap it found on the lawn. You ain’t seen nothing til you’ve experience hot Yorkie on Chocolate Lab action. Thanks again to the electric blues boys of Blue Mozart, who provided the LGC with stellar sound, and a special you-make-me-wanna-shout-out to Not Fade Away, who greased the crowd for us with their timely timeless rock n roll classics.
Later that night... The Rusty Trombones blew into Rubens in Peekskill for their maiden gig and despite the cramped quarters, everyone had a reach-around great time. Again, a round of thank yous to everybody who dragged themselves out for one last musical act in a weekend full of musical acts. Look for the next Rusty ‘Bones show at the Peekskill Coffee House, September 11th from 8 til 10 – not 24 hours after the almighty Scared Stiffs open up their hearts and veins once again for the hungry hordes at The Northwood, with Dino and the Hostages!
Summertime and the living is sleazy
Is it possible to do too
much floating in a pool with too many
bikini bodies whilst drinking too much
beer? God knows we’re trying to find out.
As summer wraps us in its liquid lava
grip, we douse ourselves with sun block
and souse ourselves with fine imported
lagers and misty domestics in equal
amounts. Only when the sun has set do we
drag our bedraggled bodies out of the
primordial ooze that used to be our pool
(before it became our home). Then, with
the all the dexterity and grace of an
emerging catfish crawling across asphalt,
do we light the tiki torches -- signifying
the end to another blazing hot day and the
dawn of a new excuse to drink some more.
Speaking of... this weekend offers several Lifesize Gorgeous reasons to go on living:
First, on Friday, August 6th, the band returns to The Spruce Hill Inn for another electric sweat session. If you were there the first time we played, you know how good it was... but remember... legally you’re enjoined from talking about it.
Then on Sunday, the 8th, it’s a double-header of sorts as the LGC joins our good pals Blue Mozart to play a set for our fine furry friends (and no, we’re not talking about Dickie Mellonball and smarmy former manager Jeff Valley). We’re going to the dogs for the Woofstock Benefit at Sycamore Park in Mahopac. We commandeer the bandstand at 11:30 am with an assortment of bands to follow.
Then, later on that same
evening, it’s the musical event you didn’t
know jackdiddley about but have totally
been waiting for -- the maiden voyage gig
of The Rusty
Trombones, featuring Roxy,
Otto and The Brown Tornado from The
Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails, and
Beautiful Bobby Bauer from Hey Baby. It’s
hard-ass acoustic rock and the perfect
soundtrack for your fetish-filled life. It’s
all happening at Ruben's Mexican
Cafe in Peekskill from 6:00 til
8:30ish. So, if all you Rust Rioters aren’t
quite done getting lubed up, may we
suggest Ruben's as the perfect hub for a
nightcap?
Deliciously Delinquent.
Sorry, I’ve been delinquent with the bloggo
lately -- all this social networking is tough
when you’ve got your arm in a Sinagapore Sling.
Let’s catch up real quick--
The Hey Baby Cancer Awareness Event was a blast -- literally. One of my guitars blew up due to a lethal combo of humidity, pelvic friction and all the free beer that was made available to the band. But all hail King Jimmy Buddy Ox, Skip, Bobby and the rest of the boys for making a big day out feel more like a high school reunion. (You know, like a cool reunion, like the 5th -- before everybody gets boring and fat.)
Let’s see, then there was
the Spruce Hill show, then there was…
shit, I forget. They don’t call ‘em Mind
Erasers for nothing! Oh yeah, somewhere in
there Roxy got cheeky with Deadbolt main
man Harley Davidson. Scary voodoo girl!
Next up, this Friday the 21st, Sue’s Sunset House. Come on out and rock till you plop. It’s Ladies Night! (That’s not official, I’m just calling it that so more ladies show up)
The Hey Baby Cancer Awareness Event was a blast -- literally. One of my guitars blew up due to a lethal combo of humidity, pelvic friction and all the free beer that was made available to the band. But all hail King Jimmy Buddy Ox, Skip, Bobby and the rest of the boys for making a big day out feel more like a high school reunion. (You know, like a cool reunion, like the 5th -- before everybody gets boring and fat.)
Let’s see, then there was
the Spruce Hill show, then there was…
shit, I forget. They don’t call ‘em Mind
Erasers for nothing! Oh yeah, somewhere in
there Roxy got cheeky with Deadbolt main
man Harley Davidson. Scary voodoo girl!
Next up, this Friday the 21st, Sue’s Sunset House. Come on out and rock till you plop. It’s Ladies Night! (That’s not official, I’m just calling it that so more ladies show up)
Spring Into Action
This April, your favorite
band of lubed-up lotharios are gonna
shower you with love, and I’m not talking
about the kind that washes off with a wet
washcloth. I’m talking about pure
unadulterated dirty adultery featuring
slippery guitars, tinkling ivories,
throbbing bass and jungle love rhythms.
The pheromones are flying and the first
place they’re touching down is none other
than the Grander
Opening of Richy’s Pub ‘n Grub in
Putnam Valley -- featuring Corona Girls,
$2.50 domestic drafts, free food,
giveaways and, of course, the mind-melting
movements of The Luscious Lushes
Dancers! There’s love and liquor in
the air this Saturday. Get some on ya!
Mother Nature Called...
photo courtesy of Scott "Ansel Adams" Stevens
...and when she did she flooded the switchboards, clogged our driving arteries and dropped a big f*ckin log on our dreams of anointing Richy’s Pub n Grub’s Grand Opening with The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails' own particular brand of vicious dirty martini rock and swanky splendor. Sorry, I know I promised that the weather could not possibly deter us from rocking, but I lied. I’ve also lied about my height on several occasions, so what?
Stay tuned to see when Richy’s is rescheduled. Meanwhile, next up on the calendar is Sue’s Sunset House in Peekskill on Friday the 19th.
Snow Blows
It freezes our fingers and
seriously impacts our pool parties, but
that doesn’t mean that we go into
hibernation like that punk-ass groundhog
and shiver under a log till the daffodils
bloom. True, we
do enter a
semi-catatonic state… but that in no
way affects our ability to rip the heart
out of a Friday night, guzzle its blood
and spit said blood back into a
blood-thirsty audience… thirsty for
real raw rock!!! Sure, that may be a
bit over-the-top, but let’s face it, so
are The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails!
So be there! Get yer ass to Sue’s Sunset House in Peekskill this Friday the 19th and be ready to sacrifice your body, brain and dignity to appease the Sun Goddess and help her thaw this ice cap crap with heat-generating wild gyrations!
And if you miss that for some ridiculous reason like you’re having a baby or shaving your cat, you can catch the band in all it’s gory glory the following weekend, Friday the 26th, at the Grand-frikkin-Opening of the newly revampired Richy’s Pub n Grub (formerly "The End Zone") in the Miranda Plaza in Cortlandt Manor (or Putnam Valley, if you believe Google or Panda Garden's take-out menu).
That's here:
Finally, best wishes go out to our master of super-soused sound, Dickie Mellonball, whose recent back surgery has left him temporarily out of commission and has left the rest of the band temporarily stumbling around buzzed on his codeine prescription. Feel better, brother! We are!
Blog matter
want this on your blog?
Chit Chat
(13)
Event (50)
Performance (63)
Rehearsal (4)
Bar (51)
Likker (1)
Cocktail (5)
Photos (9)
Benefit (13)
Website (1)
Maintenance (1)
Contest (1)
Rumors (5)
Love (2)
Animal (6)
Biography (2)
Shopping (1)
Recording (1)
Children (1)
Surgery (1)
Event (50)
Performance (63)
Rehearsal (4)
Bar (51)
Likker (1)
Cocktail (5)
Photos (9)
Benefit (13)
Website (1)
Maintenance (1)
Contest (1)
Rumors (5)
Love (2)
Animal (6)
Biography (2)
Shopping (1)
Recording (1)
Children (1)
Surgery (1)



from some guy named Tod.





The Lifesize Gorgeous Cocktails on Facebook









